What lobsters can teach us about transitions


Welcome to the 87th issue of Impact Curator! I curate this fortnightly newsletter for all of you who believe in transforming their community by amplifying the impact of the changemakers around them.
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Hello Reader,

Where I live (the beautiful Shenandoah Valley), we are in the final stretch of summer break. My kid returns to school in early August and I'm equal parts sad and excited about this transition. This summer has been magical in many ways: long afternoons by the pool followed by late dinners on the back deck. My hair has gotten blonder, my arms and shoulders a little more tanned. We've developed a daily ice cream habit and every now and then, we escape to the sacred walls of our (air-conditioned) local library to stay cool and read all the books.

As I eluded to in my last newsletter, doing nothing (as in "not being productive") is harder than I thought.

In 2019, my coach at Crossfit YKV (hi DK!), told the story of a lobster that outgrows its shell (I never fact-checked this because I absolutely want to BELIEVE it's true): Once the shell becomes too small, a lobster sheds it and goes into hiding until a bigger shell grows to keep it safe from predators and the environment. During that in-between time, the lobster is vulnerable and easy prey so it goes finds a safe hiding place until it has a renewed, strong armor.

For the next three weeks, I'm taking a page from the life of a lobster. I have deleted my social media apps, have zero meetings on my calendar and am reserving time to be with my family until school resumes in August. I'm also joining Shelly Rose's 21-day sugar cleanse to gain back some agency over my diet and overall health habits (see more below).

Read on for more behind-the-scenes of resting and my lobster summer:


Between my ears

Life, most recently: Things I'm excited about, pondering and trying out:

  • Our local libraries are hosting a Summer Reading Challenge for kids: On a bingo sheet, you get suggestions for what and where to read which has given us some inspiration for different topics and books. Bonus: The challenge wraps with a party at the public pool including ice cream and prizes. I wish reading had been this cool when I was a kid!
  • I got on the protein train. For weeks, I've tried to add more vegetarian protein to my meals but there are only so many lentil and bean dishes I can stomach per week. I finally gave in and ordered custom protein powder that kept showing up in my Instagram ads (The algorithm knows what's up😨). I wish I could tell you I've turned into Hulk overnight but no such luck just yet.
  • Pure Roots Nutrition's Sugar Cleanse starts tomorrow (with a 4-day warm-up so do not stress if you're feeling last minute). If you want to re-assess your health habits, detox your body from sugar and processed foods and learn how to cook wholesome, healthy meals that taste GREAT, join as my buddy: Use the code bettertogether724 for 10% off and sign up here:

Here's what I'm reading right now:

  • Transitions. Making sense of life's changes. I curate my self help reading very carefully because I can only take so much. This book has been recommended twice by different friends and even though it's 40+ years old, it still holds up. I wouldn't call it a page turner but I would call it a "understand what phase you're in to make sense of the world around you."
  • The Sicilian Inheritance, Jo Piazza. I thoroughly enjoyed this historical fiction mystery set in Sicily in 1920s and the present. In a year that I'm not travelling, this was a lovely escape!
  • How to do nothing. Resisting the attention economy, Jenny Odell. I have struggled to decelerate without falling into endless scrolling or consuming other content to fill that void. So I figured I get some insight into what's going on with this screen addiction. More below. I only just started this book so stay tuned!

I signed up for Book of the Month - a subscription that delivers one fiction hardcover of your choice (you select from 5) to your doorstep each month. It's heavily discounted and I LOVE getting mail! Besides, I've been intrigued by the idea of curation as a value proposition for small businesses and they do an excellent job of curating. If you want in (US only I'm afraid), click here for a discount (your first book for $5):

Thank you everyone who sent their book recommendations - please keep them coming! You can see the growing list here.

Do you have a recommendation to add to this summer reading list? Hit "reply" to this email and share it!


On my desk In progress

"Our most important beginnings take place in the darkness outside our awareness."

In Transitions. Making Sense of Life's Changes. William Bridges talks about the natural cycle of transitions in life.

Lesson 1: These cycles are part of being human, yet we rarely take the time to pay attention and deal with the mental & emotional turmoil they bring. Tribal societies and ancient civilizations have historically marked these passages through public ceremonies, even celebrated these transitions. One outcome in my life: I'm hosting a Back to School party in August with several families that have kids aged 3-10 to celebrate their transition to the next grade. Returning to school is an exciting time and a little celebration never hurt nobody!

Lesson 2: "First there is an ending, then a beginning, and an important empty or fallow time in between." It's this down-time in between an ending and a new beginning that feels uncomfortable. In a society that is driven by productivity and an unrelenting desire to be busy, sitting confused and rattled by the end of a previous chapter in our lives is rarely talked about. With Wintering Katherine May devotes an entire book to the messy middle, the pale in-between where we're grappling with some ending and have not yet figured out what the next thing is.

Lesson 3: The urge to work my way out of this in-between state has been strong. As someone who identifies herself through her career and professional contributions, not having a job to point to has been disorienting. I do my best to honor this in-betweenness. I'm turning down opportunities, putting off new projects and job conversations. I'm even taking a break from social media to be able to stay ore present instead of distracting myself (anyone else?). Instead, I practice sitting in this discomfort (it's humbling) and remind myself not to rush into the next thing without understanding what I need to learn from this previous chapter. It would be easy to get carried away with a shiny new project that I've always wanted to do and never had the time for, but something is telling me that it's not time yet.

In many ways, "doing nothing" is harder than doing the things I know how to do and that I do well. It forces me to turn inward, face some demons from the past and question my standard-programming. It's not for the faint of heart and to be honest, I wish I wasn't fumbling through this without instructions.

Are you in a transition right now? Or have you consciously been in one in the past? What's your experience with sitting in-between an ending and an unknown beginning? If you have an anecdote or piece of advice to share, I'd love to hear it!


Featured Episode

On grief + moving on

In season 5 I had a heart-2-heart with the inimitable Annie Wood about transitions and finding back to yourself in difficult times. I may or may not have re-listened to this conversation in the last month.


On my radar

I come across a lot of resources that I want to share with fellow ecosystem builders and changemakers. If we're connected on LinkedIn or Instagram, they might already show up in your feed! In case you missed any, here's my curated list from the last two weeks:

Jobs

For more jobs with purpose, make sure to connect with Servane Mouazan and Julia Firestone on LinkedIn - both of them share more jobs with impact than anyone I know (drop them a little note and say hi, don't make it weird).

Mark your calendars for 2024:

What events are missing that other changemakers should know about?


I will be back in your inbox in four weeks! Until then, enjoy the rest of your summer!

In camaraderie,

Anika

Anika Horn

I'm an ecosystem builder for social change. I love telling the stories of systemic changemakers around the world who make their communities a better place to live, work and play.

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